We won't sleep together?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
