This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
