So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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