I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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