school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
