We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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