I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
