I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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