At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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