Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
