literally had 100 drinks last night.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
