Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Sober January is a disaster.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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