you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
no you cant smoke seaweed
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
