How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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