You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
