But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
porn star boner night. come get it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
