Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
