If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
