Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
