lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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