i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
