If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My vagina is officially offended.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
