absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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