i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
