yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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