Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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