Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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