i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
