Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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