ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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