No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
