im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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