My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
