it wasn't lemon gatorade
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
