when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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