Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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