Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.