Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?