Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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