i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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