First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We are two peas in an std pod
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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