I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
