Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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