I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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