Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
