I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...