No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.