Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.

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(970): View more from Colorado

she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.

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(347): View more from New York

How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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(434): View more from Virginia

It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy

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