for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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