So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize