Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
