hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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