i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Mom said you looked used
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
