now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
