hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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