dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
