The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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