no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
